Think back to when you were in the hospital, after you had delivered your bundle of joy. As you prepare to be discharged, the nurse is explaining all of the instructions on how to care for this new life you just brought into the world. One topic I am certain they mention is that when you are feeling overwhelmed, it is okay to place the baby down in a safe location and step away. You may think to yourself, “Why would I ever need to do that?”. But the fact of the matter is, it can be overwhelming to hear frequent crying, especially when sleep-deprived.
I’m here to tell you it’s okay to step away and regroup even after the infant stage. Toddlers and children can be overstimulating, and with the increased stress of balancing work and home life, you may find your patience is running lower than normal. Stepping away for a moment can grant you the time to take a deep breath and regroup your thoughts. In that time, you may have that “aha” moment of why your child is acting out. This will allow you to react in a way that will be beneficial for you and your child.
As parents, it is our responsibility to give our children the tools to handle their emotions. Stepping away can be an appropriate response to prevent you from acting in a way that would be unfavorable. However, it is important to communicate that with your child, even from a young age. They may not understand the words you are saying yet, but one day they will. I like to say something like “I need to step away and breathe, but we will talk in a moment”. It is a short and simple sentence that I frequently use when I am overwhelmed. This may not stop the tantrum that my toddler is having as he doesn’t quite understand, but when I go back to help him through his tantrums, I feel that I can control my emotions better than before.
Looking back
Growing up, I was not taught this wonderful tool that I use in my parenting. As a result, I did not always communicate when I stepped away. I would often get overwhelmed and raise my voice. This was not the type of parent I wanted to be. It took some time for this to become a true habit for me, but the difference I saw in my children was amazing. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t ever raise my voice (we are ALL human), but it has reduced greatly.
What are some tools you’ve found along your parenting journey? Were they something you learned through your parents’ examples, or something you’ve picked up as you go? Comment below or send a message to help other parents navigate the emotions of parenting.
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